Beauty in the midst of chaos: a young women’s testimony from Haiti

On January 12, 2010, Rachel Coupoud’s life changed forever. The YWCA of Haiti board member was at home in bed sick when an earthquake struck. At the time, she had no idea the earthquake would leave up to 200, 000 people in the her beloved Haiti dead, but as she ventured out of her home to witness the devastation around her and offer her help, she saw beauty in the midst of chaos. Rachel shares with us her moving story:


To All,

Today, I finally decided to take a few minutes to myself, to drop all else and write down a few words. It took me 15 days because in a matter of 35 seconds, not only did my country change, but so did my universe.

I wish to start by thanking each and every one of you who care, pray, wrote, and took action for us Haitians. I will not relate in detail the horrors I’ve witnessed, nor the feelings of despair, hopelessness and fear one experiences in such a situation. I was lucky enough to survive with little damage occurred - in comparison to most - so now I choose to talk about the beauty I’ve discovered in all of this.

I was sick in bed when it happened. I did not realise the magnitude of the disaster at first but within an hour, after hearing from my immediate family members, I put on my tennis shoes and walked to a nearby maternity ward to offer my help. What I saw there cannot be put in words… the despair of kids dying in the hallways and of people with open wounds I had only seen in war movies. I left the clinic at midnight, went to my parents’ home so we could all be together. The next morning, I went to volunteer in another hospital in the neighbourhood and quickly realised that the horror of the night before was just a preview of what was to come. With the lack of staff, a friend and I found ourselves acting as an assistant/nurse in the O.R. for an amputation and for a liver operation! How did I get there, you ask? But at that point, I chose to see the beauty in the midst of the chaos, as I learned that some choose life over all…

The woman whose operation I assisted had one leg chopped off. When I stopped for a while and decided to compliment her on her strength, she answered: “I choose life over legs, I have 2 daughters to raise.” How could she smile and actually thank the team who took away this big piece of her body? She simply chose life, she said.

I spent 5 long days at the community hospital and many long nights hosting visiting surgeons. What films and pictures do not show are the emotions, the pain in the voices and the agonising smell of bodies slowly decomposing on the grounds. But on the other side of the slide, I saw beauty…

Indeed, in the midst of it all, I saw everyone giving a hand in a way or another; I saw foreigners whose names I will never know save lives of people whose names they will never know; I saw a nation devastated, but its citizens taking the next step by simply choosing to survive and helping others do the same. I saw young, not so young, rich, not so rich, poor, black, white, literate and illiterate, Haitians and foreigners acting as one! I saw the universal language of hope, survival, love, strength, determination and solidarity. THIS, I choose to remember and learn from.

Many days later, I thank the Lord for my blessings. My worries are the same as everyone else’s: What comes next? What will we do? Where will we start? but I said to a friend, we already started. Now it is for us to decide on the type of Haiti we want, the type of nation we will become and the kind of individuals we will be. It took me the same 35 seconds to be reminded that no matter where we stand from, no matter how different our journeys are LIFE and LOVE are what matter the most.

Again, I thank each and every one of you for the support. In these tough times, knowing one cares is enough to keep another going in the right direction. Your messages arrived from all over the world and my wish is that you keep praying for Haiti and its citizens, as we have never been so vulnerable.

Again, thank you.

Rachel Coupaud

Addressing the Gender Gap in College Aspirations

By Cate Doty (New York Times)

For every 100 American women enrolled in college, there are only 77 men. And for every 100 women who graduate with a bachelor’s degree, only 73 men accomplish that, according to data from the Postsecondary Education Opportunity.
At a College Board program Thursday afternoon, educators talked about the ways they are trying to close that college gender gap.

The gap is chalked up to a myriad of reasons. Traditional schools aren’t tuned in to the hands-on learning styles of boys; the media portrayal of smart young men generally is of socially awkward boys who don’t get dates to the prom; and young male students, particular at-risk youth, lack positive male models in and out of the classroom.

Melissa Kleiner, an assistant principal in Pittsburgh who led the program, said that throughout her career, she has seen capable male students get left behind as her female students move on to college. She also pointed out that as jobs in traditionally male-oriented professions, such as manufacturing, disappear, young men are left at a further disadvantage. “Boys and men will have to rethink their place in academia,” she said.

Ms. Kleiner set up a program for boys in her middle school, using frequent group sessions and field trips to examine what leadership is, and how the students can assume leadership roles. She hopes that the students will use these skills to move on to higher education. Her program starts with eighth-grade students, and she will work with those same boys until they graduate from high school.
Some of Ms. Kleiner’s motivational tactics might seem like recess, such as a ropes course in the Pennsylvania woods (during class time, to which other teachers might object) or watching a montage of clips from movies like “Gladiator” or “Saving Private Ryan.” But the film clips, in their own way, show men leading other men, which, Ms. Kleiner hopes will motivate her students to find leadership and success in their own lives.

“The challenge for all of us is how to engage these guys at a younger age,” said Nancy Beane, a college counselor from the Westminster Schools in Atlanta. Although her school has a 100 percent college attendance rate, she said, the male students still need extra attention. Guidance counselors at her school started a leadership program called Guise, which targets male students with similar tactics as Ms. Kleiner’s.

But outside the school walls, the obstacles for those male students are still there, and one of them is parents who have questioned why their sons should participate in such a new, untested program.

Dating Tips From The First Lady

From The New York Times:

By Rachel L. Swarns
First Lady Michelle Obama will appear on the December cover of Glamour Magazine, which is honoring her for her efforts to mentor young women.
Mrs. Obama, who is interviewed by CBS’s Katie Couric, offers advice on finding a role model and discusses the intense public scrutiny she faces in the White House. Ms. Couric is a new columnist for the magazine.
The first lady also offers some dating tips, which just might be a first for a first lady.

“Cute’s good,’’ Mrs. Obama told Glamour magazine. “But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, ‘Who are you as a person?’”

“Don’t look at the bankbook or the title,” she continued. “Look at the heart. Look at the soul…. When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good…. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”

REGISTER NOW - Oct.19 YWCA Healthy Relationships Webinar

Monday, October 19th
4-5pm EST

Geared specifically for young women, ages 18 to 30, this webinar will provide a safe place to explore their own power to create a healthy intimate partner relationship-their unique psychology, how to assess the health of their relationships, and how to recognize less obvious forms of abusive behavior in their relationship. The featured speaker will be Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist based in New York City who is a frequent guest expert of CBS's Early Show, NBC's The Today Show, and CNN's Nancy Grace. She is also board chair of The Black Women's Health Imperative and mother of four daughters.

CLICK TO EMPOWER!

The YWCA is one of four organizations chosen by the Allstate Insurance Foundation to focus on economic abuse as a form of domestic violence. Supporters will vote for their favorite organization at www.clicktoempower.org. Voting begins tomorrow. You can vote once a day. The winning organization will receive $100,000 to support economic empowerment/domestic violence education initiatives.

Young Women's Empowerment Initiatives

As the YWCA continues to expand its Women Under 30 initiative, several associations are at the forefront of young women's empowerment. What programs/events does your association host for young women?

YWomen Speak!

In your opinion, what characteristics exemplify young women in leadership?

Hot off the press! YWomen Under 30 E-newsletter unveiled.

The first YWomen Under 30 e-newsletter was sent to all Southeast Executive Directors today. The primary purpose of the YWomen newsletter is to keep young women informed about exciting things happening in our sister associations and new opportunities. Each e-newsletter will highlight an achieving young woman in the region. Katie Nelson, office manager for the YWCA of the Lower Cape Fear, was our first young woman to be recognized. To receive a copy of the e-newsletter or to be added to the mailing list, please email Jenna Lodge at jlodgeywca@yahoo.com.

YWCAs nationwide say ENOUGH! to Violence

October 19-25th marks the YWCA USA Week Without Violence. Nearly 300 YWCAs across the country are hosting community events to educate and empower citizens to take a stand against violence. Post your WWV events here for others to know about!

Beauty Obsession Dangerous for Women and Girls

The National's Beauty At Any Cost campaign is designed to stir conversation concerning the obsession with beauty in today's society. More and more young women across America and the world are turning to expensive cosmetics and invasive surgeries to create their "perfect self." The YWCA is shedding light on the subject.

For more information about the campaign and materials to facilitate discussions in your area, visit http://www.ywca.org/.